When the Wedding Planner Becomes the Client
If you haven’t already read in one of my previous blogs, I’d recently become engaged! As an event planner, people always assume the one event I’ll pour my heart into more than any other would be my own wedding, but surprise everyone! I’m not planning my own wedding. At least, not in the way I’d plan yours.
When your career becomes personal.
Will I help select suppliers? Of course. Will I help with timelines? Absolutely. Will I provide feedback about logistics? Without a doubt. I can’t turn my brain off. But on the wedding day itself and leading up to it?
I’m hiring a coordinator.
Now I get to be the client and so far, it’s an oddly satisfying experience. As planners, we’re used to being the ones making decisions, solving problems, and keeping everything running smoothly. For one day, I don’t want any of that responsibility. I want to be a groom.
Be present and take it all in.
The problem is that if I put that same energy into my own wedding, I’d be taking myself away from the moments that really matter. I don’t want to spend my wedding (and maybe the days after) thinking about what went wrong, answering vendor calls, wondering about whether each vendor setup on time, or stressing about running late on the program.
What I really want is to cherish the moments with the people who are there to celebrate our love. I want to be present and feel every moment to its fullest. I want to laugh at the speeches, hear what her parents have to say about us, dance with friends, and express my gratitude for everyone there. Every couple should be able to be present at their own wedding and enjoy their celebration with loved ones.
Our Wedding will be in the Philippines next year.
For context, my fiancée and I are both Filipino. I was born and raised here in Calgary, and she was born and raised in the Philippines but recently moved to Calgary.
Are you ready for the twist?
While we are both Filipino, here's the twist: over there, I'm considered a foreigner and there are so many challenges that come with that. While I understand the language, I don't speak it very well. That means the person who's spent two decades negotiating contracts and managing events is at a sudden disadvantage.
· I can't confidently have every conversation with vendors.
· I can't always catch the nuances in a discussion.
· I can't rely on my own communication the way I normally would.
So instead…
I'm relying on my fiancée.
She's become the face of our planning, leading conversations, asking questions, and making sure we're getting accurate information and most importantly, fair pricing.
Even with years of planning events, I still need to lean on my fiancée's strengths in a country where she can navigate conversations that I simply can't. And that's okay. In fact, it's exactly what a partnership should look like. We each bring something different to the table. For this wedding, she's leading where I'm limited, and I'm more than happy to follow.
Practising what I've always preached.
If you ever find yourself in the same boat or are thinking about hiring a coordinator, remember that hiring a coordinator is less of a luxury and more of an investment in your peace of mind.
Stay tuned.
Coming up next, I’ll be doing a vlog series once a month. You’ll get to meet my fiancée, we’ll share regular updates about what it’s like for us to plan a wedding in the Philippines, the actual wedding itself, and a summary of how it all went afterwards. So, stay tuned on a series called…